STAND UP AND BE COUNTED


FUN WITH HATE MAIL

NOTE - putting this page together was a lot of fun, and it had an unintended result - it scared the petty, nasty right-wingers away! I haven't received a single piece of hate mail in months.

It's sad but true - many people have nothing better to do with their time than to send hate mail to people they don't know. Since I'm a firm believer in freedom of speech, and want to be sure everyone's voice is heard, I'll be posting hate mail here from time to time. I know that I don't like it when people make changes to MY work, so I've been very careful to post these emails exactly as the author intended them to be seen (i.e., except for using dashes in place of profanity, I haven't edited their words at all). If I'm inspired to respond, I'll respond here (my responses are the ones in boldface).

Current hate mail selection (click the hate mail of your choice below, or scroll down to view them all!)

Chad discovers the Martians in our midst!

An angry Libertarian tells me that he's sick of being raped

A friendly fellow decides that wasting time is fun!

E. Strelch threatens to expose me

A polite note from someone who's very worried about the 'Scoailists'

A woman claims that she's ugly, and says she thinks I have bad dreams about her

Christopher from Boston reveals some shocking information about Clinton, a catapult, and sailors

A guy who's really into the whole brevity thing tries his best to live up to what he perceives as my masochistic desires

Chad discovers the Martians in our midst!

on 3/3/01 7:18 PM, Chad wrote:
fringefolk

What a bunch of socialist idiots you "people" are.

Bother! You've found us out; that must be why you put quote marks around "people". Okay, okay, I admit it - we're not really people; we're aliens from Mars who are trying to infiltrate the planet, and we thought this would be a really great way to do it. I can't BELIEVE someone figured out the truth! We thought we were being so discreet! Man, I'm really bummed now.

You want to suckle at the government teat

We do? Wow, it's so nice to have someone who can tell what we really want. You must be a psychologist. Since you've been so charitable with your diagnosis, can I ask you something? I frequently dream about gigantic elephants stampeding in Washington D.C. and defecating on all the U.S. flags they can find. I have no idea what this dream means, and would love to have you interpret it for me!

, and mistakenly believe that most others do too.

I don't think MOST people feel that way, but I know that the minority - those who voted for Bush - do. I was always a bit disturbed by the way the right-wingers screamed and hollered about getting government handouts to send their kids to private schools, and practically drooled over the idea of getting even more dollars from Washington in the form of an enormous, irresponsible tax cut. It was especially troubling that the people who screamed loudest were those who weren't going to benefit much at all under Bush's risky tax scheme. But you know how Republicans are - offer them a few dollars from Washington (or a "teat", as you so cleverly put it) and they simply can't restrain themselves.

Get over it

No.

for the first time since January 20, 1989 we have a real president.

Yeah, I was bothered too by the fact that President Clinton is just a hologram. I've always said that they shouldn't allow fake people to run for office. It just seems kinda unconstitutional.

For the first time since January 20, 1993, we have a person on integrity in the Oval Office. The pretender from January 20, 1993 to January 20, 2001, was the illegitimate spawn of a Hot Springs Hooker.

I'm so glad that we have people of integrity in the world. Otherwise, we might be forced to deal with the kind of low-life pondscum that would refer to a man's deceased mother as a 'hooker'. It's a good thing that President Gore's supporters have integrity, and don't resort to that kind of ugliness, isn't it?

He has been a petty street hustler all his life. He has been an enemy of freedom and liberty and a traitor to his native country most of his life.

Yes, Bush is all of those things and more. Insider trading, going AWOL, drunk driving, cocaine-sniffing - I'll tell ya, it really bolsters my faith in the American people every time I reflect upon the fact that Bush lost the election.

p.s. Love your name, Chad! I'll bet you really like it too.

An angry Libertarian tells me that he's sick of being raped

on 2/12/01 5:28 PM, Mark L. wrote:
The Liberals and Socialists are STILL alive

You people are obviously a group of pathetic socialist brain-dead Morons. You must enjoy giving 50% of what you earn to fund that ridiculous monstrosity of a government that you stupid Liberals keep trying to make bigger. Oh, pardon me, I forgot. Liberals don't earn enough money to get to that tax bracket. Sorry

By the way, you must have forgotten that Clinton/Gore moved into the White House with only 42% of the vote in 1992. That means that 58 out of every 100 voters voted for someone OTHER than Clinton/Gore. Why didn't you have a big rally to protest that travesty???

Signed,

A Libertarian who DOES pay 50% of what he earns, and is getting damn sick of it!

This was my first hate mail (congratulations, Mark!), and I decided to email the gentleman back; something I won't be doing in the future. Here's what I wrote:

Hi, Mark! So very nice to hear from you. To address a few of your points:

"You people are obviously a group of pathetic socialist brain-dead Morons."

No, we're a pretty diverse group, actually, though most of us are Democrats. We also have a few Greens, a few Independents, and one or two Anarchists - and at least one former Republican. I don't know of any Socialists within the group, though we'd certainly welcome any who wanted to join, just as we'd welcome any Libertarians who wanted to join. None of us are morons - I can attest to that, since I've corresponded with each and every member of the fringefolk protest.

"You must enjoy giving 50% of what you earn to fund that ridiculous monstrosity of a government that you stupid Liberals keep trying to make bigger. Oh, pardon me, I forgot. Liberals don't earn enough money to get to that tax bracket. Sorry"

Well, *I* certainly don't earn that much; I can't speak for the rest of the group, but judging by our varied professions, I'd guess we range between dirt poor (like me!) and extremely rich - two of our members, I know, are in the upper 1% that would benefit substantially from Bush's proposed tax plan. They're opposed to the plan, though, because they feel that the good of the country as a whole is more important than a few extra dollars in their pockets. Does that make them morons in your book? (That was a rhetorical question, dear).

"By the way, you must have forgotten that Clinton/Gore moved into the White House with only 42% of the vote in 1992. That means that 58 out of every 100 voters voted for someone OTHER than Clinton/Gore. "

My, you're certainly good at math! I'll bet you didn't even need a calculator to come up with those figures. And no, I haven't forgotten; just as I'm sure you haven't forgotten that GW Bush received more votes than any other presidential candidate in history except for Ronald Reagan and Al Gore. Factoids are fun, aren't they?

"Why didn't you have a big rally to protest that travesty???"

What travesty? President Clinton won the popular vote and the electoral vote - why on earth would we want to protest that? What bothers us is that in this past election, the man who lost the popular vote AND the electoral vote was selected to be president. (Since you love figures so much, I'm sure you're aware that Al Gore did, in the end, win Florida). That bothers us a lot, because we're patriots.

"Signed, A Libertarian who DOES pay 50% of what he earns, and is getting damn sick of it!"

You poor thing. I sure do feel sorry for you. I'll bet you can't even afford to make any charitable contributions, can you, since the big bad mean government takes so much away? I'm sure that if you didn't have to pay taxes, you'd happily donate money toward public schools, Medicare, Social Security, roads, environmental protection, civil rights enforcement, law enforcement, healthcare, etc., etc., etc., because that's just the kind of warm, caring person you are.

And I know you must sleep easy at night, knowing what a good and worthwhile person you are to take time out of your undoubtedly busy day to send a message of goodwill to a stranger. Just imagine what our country would be like if everyone were like you! Wouldn't YOU enjoy getting emails such as the one you sent me?

And remember...when we patriots march in protest, we are not marching only for ourselves...we are marching for you, too. No need to respond, hon. I know you must be terribly busy, and you have certainly done your good deed of the day.

Warmest regards,

Rose

Mark, who apparently felt that my email was an invitation to further discussion (you can lead a horse to water, but...), responded with further pleasantries. Since I didn't want to encourage him further, I didn't respond, but I'll insert a few of the thoughts that crossed my mind as I read his comments:

Hi Rose

"I don't know of any Socialists within the group,"

Wrong! The whole Democrat platform and is based on Socialist principals, I.E. take by force from the "haves" and give it to the "have nots. Make the Government big enough to take care of everyone. That, my dear, is pure Socialism.

"Take by force"? Gee! Apparently in Mark's part of the country, FBI agents storm rich people's homes and loot the silverware and everything else of value to give to the homeless. If I'd known that, I certainly wouldn't have voted Democrat! What a horrible thing! But I'm puzzled by one thing...once Mark has been robbed by the government, does he then count as a "have-not"? Can he then expect the same agents to mug the homeless fellow with Mark's silverware, and give it back to Mark? No wonder FBI agents always look so cranky! What a thankless job that would be.

" - two of our members, I know, are in the upper 1% that would benefit substantially from Bush's proposed tax plan."

Let me ask a hypothetical question. (Please don't take the "you" and the "I" personally) If you paid a total of $1000 in Federal Income tax (under 8% of your gross pay) and I paid $60,000 (or 41% of my gross pay) Now they announce an across the board 10% tax cut. Your tax cut would be $100 and mine would be $6,000, right? I'll bet anything you would say I got a bigger tax cut than you. right? I rest my case.

I would say that you received more money from your tax cut than I did, but that the cuts were equal percentage-wise. And, er, what did that have to do with my mention of people in the upper 1% who are opposed to the big tax cut? Not comfortable addressing that, are we?

In this hypothetical situation, in just one year, I paid more tax than you will FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. WHY? I don't use any more services from the government than you do, if as many. The only difference is I worked 7 days a week for 15 years in a row when I started my business, and I now work about 55 hours a week making a $25,000 a week payroll just so I am able to earn a 6 figure salary. You had the same opportunity as an American as I did. You didn't do it. You only had to pay $1000 in Federal tax. Why should I be raped every year by the Liberals in the government because I worked hard so as not to be "dirt poor"? That's why Socialism doesn't work, there is no incentive to get ahead. If you work real hard the government takes most of what you make to subsidize those who say "why work? If I don't work the government will feed, clothe, and house me."

Yawn. Sorry, too boring to address; though I think this guy ought to talk to the police about the Liberal politicians who sexually assault him every year. Something ought to be done about that, by God!

"Since you love figures so much, I'm sure you're aware that Al Gore did, in the end, win Florida"

NO! I'M NOT AWARE OF THAT Where on God's Earth did you get the preposterous notion that Al Gore won Florida, or the total US popular vote for that matter? Given the gross inadequacy of the vote counting system this country has, (between 1.5% and 2% of the vote in ALL STATES are rejected for some reason. Over 1,000,000 absentee ballots in California alone were never counted, because "it wouldn't affect the outcome") and in the last election the majority of victory, or defeat, by the last count total I saw was less that 1/3 of 1%. No matter whose side you were on, how could any intelligent person possibly say who got the most votes? I don't know, and unless you possess clairvoyant powers, neither do you. But Liberals always tend to ignore the facts and recite pure BS over and over so often they actually believe it. I truly feel sorry for people like that.

"I'll bet you can't even afford to make any charitable contributions, can you, since the big bad mean government takes so much away? I'm sure that if you didn't have to pay taxes, you'd happily donate money toward public schools, Medicare, Social Security, roads, environmental protection, civil rights enforcement, law enforcement, healthcare, etc., etc., etc."

The above list you made of "causes" the federal government now pays for is EXACTLY why I am a Libertarian. Public schools, roads, law enforcement, health care, etc. etc. etc. are ALL funded under state jurisdiction. The Federal Government has no business there. As for Social Security, now that REALLY is a joke. My own retirement plan (401K) has earned over 20% a year for the past 20 years. The travesty Washington has perpetrated on the American people called Social Security is nothing short of "Criminal Confiscation" of our money. Over the same 20 years, how much has average American's money which is taken by force from their paycheck, plus the matching amount their employer must pay, earned? The answer is less than 1%. What good is that? If I had a choice I will invest my own money, thank you. Keep the government out of it!!!!! As of right now (I'm 53 years old) I've paid over $250,000 in "Social Security" and I'll get about $640 per month to live on after I turn 65, maybe. What in hell am I supposed to do with that? I'd have to live to be 97 just to get my own investment back! On the other hand in 6 years my personal 401K will be available to me and I will retire, on about $2.5 Million. If I could have put all the Social Security money I've had taken from me by force into my own investment plan I would have over $6,000,000!!!! And you wonder why I feel I've been ripped off by the Liberals in Washington

Goodness, you sure do like to use exclamation points!!!!!!!! Hey, that was fun!!!!!!! No wonder you hit that key so many times!!!!!! It's kind of addicting!!!!!

................................................... The one thing you said that I agree with is:

"I know you must be terribly busy, and you have certainly done your good deed of the day"

. And one thing I KNOW for sure, I wasted my time.

Do you frequently waste your time in such a deliberate and passionate manner? When I waste my time, I prefer to have fun while I'm at it. But you know how silly we liberals are.

Liberals NEVER listen to facts, because, like I said before "Liberals always tend to ignore the facts and recite pure BS over and over so often they actually believe it. I truly feel sorry for people like that." You.

Liberals never listen to facts? Never? Not once? Ever? Wow. Makes you wonder how so many of them manage to get elected, doesn't it?

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