MY REPUBLICAN CREED
by Jim Mooney (page 2)

I am a Republican

I owe this great nation nothing for making me prosperous.
Though I would be starving in Africa.

I will ignore the massive economic legacy of millions of working men and
women who have lived and died before me, building the mountain I sit
upon.  I did it all.  Myself.

Yea, they deserve not the fruits of their labor, not even the tenth
part.  The workman is not worthy of his hire, and I shall deprive the
widow of her mite.

My motto shall always be "Don't create; manipulate."

The producers of wealth should have nothing -- they only create goods
and services -- while I and my billionaire buddies create ourselves out
of thin air, godlike, rich, supporting nothing yet supported by all.

Yea, we built the roads and made the schools and hospitals and bridges
and sweated in the fields and toiled in the factories, and worked by the
millions to make this nation great.  Sure we did.  Does not our champion
Rush say it is so?  Are we not Achievers?

We owe nothing to America.  We shall give nothing back.

Me. Me. Me.   Mine.  Mine.  Mine.

We shall take and take and take.

For is not this the way of all nature, and are we not animals?

We will praise Jesus with our lips but scour the poor whom he loved,
making Limbaugh Laughter of their plight -- and it is good to laugh at
the misfortunes of others.

We will worship a worthless millionaire playboy as President -- a man
who has never soiled his hand with work or troubled his brain with
thought, while he righteously tells the poor to tighten their belt and
work more for less.  Verily -- lower wages, no protections, no safety
net, and lesser benefits are his creed.  And it is good.  For none may
stand against corporations, or yet sue them for wrongdoing, murder, and
theft as long as our champion is in office.

We will pervert democracy and steal the vote that we might fatten the
rich.  Yea, they need MORE. They have more than they need, but more
still they must have.  For did not even our savior say, "Those who have,
more shall receive."  And we surely believe in That!!!

And why should there be a safety net?  We will never fall, and not our
children either.    For does not the government hand us money over and
over and over, proving our virtue?  Fat government contracts, corporate
welfare, and pork?

We shall always have our hands out, but shriek in righteous horror
should a poor man take a federal dime to feed his young.  That dough is
ours.

Let the poor perish, what is that to us?  They deserve to suffer that we
might feel greater than they, and righteous too.

For our creed is this: those who do the least should get the most.
Those who break their backs with two jobs, for meager pay -- well, if
they can work that hard, they might as well work at three.  After all,
are there not twenty-four hours in a day?  Why should they sleep when we
can batten on their labor?

I am a Republican.  Should one vote be for Gore I will punch and punch
again the card, yea, and I will gangpunch the ballots with an IBM 129
keypunch, that that Gore vote might be rendered into a worthless
overvote.

For I believe in democracy and state's rights and one republican one
vote, no others need apply -- just as the judicious Supreme Court Five.

I am a Republican. Greed is my creed.  I owe the nation nothing.  Let us
begin a war and swill on fat defense contracts.  Yea, our sons shall
slumber and booze in the National Guard, well protected, safe from harm.
Let the sons of the poor go and die, for they are wicked.  For being
poor.  Their punishment fits their crime.

And it has ever been thus for our fortunate sons, from Newt to Little
George.  Yes, they will make war no more, not like that fool Namvet
Gore.  We're Cowboy Actors to the Core.

I am a Republican.  I made myself from thin air.  I owe America Nothing.
Not taxes.  Not service. Not loyalty.  nothing.  The nation should be
glad to have me.   For do I not manipulate the symbols of wealth for the
greater good of myself and my friends?  Where there is exorbitant
interest and fees, there am !.  Where a company fires a thousand men to
bloat my stock, there am I. Where a nation bends to global bankers and
starves its folk, there am I.  Where an HMO kills or an insurer cheats,
there am I.  Where pollution fills the air, there am I. ( Well, not
quite  there, for my lungs fill with country club air.  Let others bear
my poison. Especially if they are the wicked poor. )

Where a black man is cheated of his vote, there am I.  Where hatred and
division reign, there am I.

Look under the rock and ye will find me.

For like the Great Tao, I am omnipresent, everywhere.  While doing
nothing, everything accrues to me.

I am a Republican -- living on contracts, scams, moneyshuffling,
corporate welfare and inherited wealth, I cleverly call myself an
"achiever." while the real achievers -- the workers and the
entrepreneurs and the artists and the scientists and the helpers and the
healers and the writers and the simply kind, wonder what in hell I am
talking about.

But my front men know -- I pay them well -- and they bleat it
ceaselessly.  Tell a lie big enough long enough and everyone will
believe it.

I am a Republican.  Others are as nothing to me, and my paid
proselytizers fool them with clever memes.  My bought newspapers fill
with rightwing chatter, and Peter Jennings praises me on the Evening
News.

I am the Great Bamboozler.  I divide with hate and lies, getting those
who work and sweat to kick each other and themselves in the ass. I pick
up the winnings, walk away and laugh.  Pay no attention to the Cheney
behind the curtain.

And if I am a CEO and my company loses a billion dollars five years in a
row, I will just lower wages, fire ancient workers, give myself a
fabulous raise, then Golden Parachute out.

I will praise the law while breaking every law in the book, for my
campaign "contributions" protect me.  Laws will be made and courts will
be bent that I may never pay the piper.  Yea, it is good.  The law is
for lesser men.

What is America to me?  Let Global Corporations Rule.  Let them make our
laws, determine our wealth, and tell our people what to do.  For they
are on my side and I am on theirs, and all my bought politicians and
slanted media before me.  Ye shall never know the truth, for I Own the
tellers of it.

Let the corporations be free to shuffle slave labor from nation to
nation as they please, despoil the earth, and make life worse for the
many.

For I am not the many.  I am ME.

I am a Republican.  I made myself out of myself for there is no god but
greed. And this is my only creed:  ME ME ME.  MINE MINE MINE.

There is none else but ME.

It all belongs to ME.

For I am a Republican.

And yea, though I walk in the valley of the shadow of hunger, and my
brother cries out before me and the nation fall, it matters not to me,
for  I shall chant "Gimmee.  Gimmee.  Gimmee."

And I shall ever be fat.

I am a Republican.

Translated from the Republican by Jim Mooney, webmaster,
http://www.bushboyzstolethevote.com

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